This is in response to my “Rules to Live By” post a few days ago.
I didn’t think I would have to explain it, but you people on tumblr take things way too seriously.
These rules are being taken out of context and you all are casting judgement without fully understanding our relationship. I know these rules might seem a little bit over the top or excessive, but our relationship is not typical: I’m part of a Dom/sub relationship.
Both parties joined of our own free will—myself included—knowing that it had rules and responsibilities that had to be followed. Our rules and responsibilities were created together. We discussed possible issues, analyzed what could go wrong, and took into consideration the needs of both parties.
While the rules I posted might seem too overzealous or rigid, in practice it is quite the contrary. I have never been a very outgoing person but Master has pushed me to seek out my friends and family more, to go out and have fun and have a good time with them.
Master has made it his duty to know my needs and wants in order to make me happy. He obsesses over it. He knows me better than I know myself, and often anticipates my desires before I can even articulate them.
I’ve had trouble finding a hobby or passion project to fill my free time (the boredom gets me in trouble), and Master has been silently encouraging me towards activities for the past couple months. I didn’t even realize his thoughtfulness; he signed us up for couple’s cooking classes and a DJ class. Both things I love that would make enriching passion projects.
I can’t think of a day when he puts his needs before mine, he is always looking for ways to make me happy. And I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life than I am now with Master (or Dylan, if you want to use his name).
It is very easy for people to pass judgement on the unknown. Unfortunately, that is how the Internet works and people are very quick to judge without taking into consideration more than skin deep.
I know we have decided to live our relationship in a very public and honest way. We knew it might gather criticisms from people and yet we decided to go on ahead and broadcast our lives like this. Yet, people don’t bother in gathering the whole piece of the story and put their give cents without thinking deeper and harder.
The rules of our relationship are a living document. We review them weekly (Master calls this our relationship audit) to ensure the Dom/sub dynamic is healthy and everyone is happy. We’ve removed things, added new rules, and evolved the social contracted between us as needed.
People unfamiliar with Dom/sub relationships might think that he is taking advantage of me, that I am weak and he is just trying to control me for gains, or that I’m stupid for giving up such control out of love. You couldn’t be more wrong. I have two Bachelors Degrees, a Masters Degree, and Postgrad from Universities around the world, I speak 4 languages and have visited every continent, and I’m a successful entrepreneur with a thriving business. I know exactly what I’m getting into.
I will continue to live my life how I want. It’s my decision to live for my Master. I know that I love him like I have never loved anyone before. I get butterflies every single time I see him. He brings a smile to my face by just being next to me. He makes me the happiest guy in the universe and I couldn’t be luckier than to have him and spend the rest if my days with him.
So please, let me live my life and you can continue to live yours. Live and let live.
Wow that was amazing to read… well said
Those rules sound cool and all, but you know long lasting relationships doesn’t work like that.
1. He’s your partner, not your property. He’s a human being. You have to treat him with equal respect.
2. He will let you know that he’s hanging out with people, but you should trust him that he’s not going to cheat if you guys are monogamous. TRUST! It’s something that is achieve over time.
3. Flirting is healthy to a relationship. You’re probably in a “new” relationship. New = 6 years or less. A relationship will go through all kind of problems, you and your partner will be tested. Ten years down the line, your sex life MIGHT go down the hill. You might need to flirt to come home to spice up the sex life, although you’re playing with fire. Wouldn’t recommend it to all. Maybe just watch porn, but over time that won’t help. Straight couples got a slight advantage. They can procreate, so it keeps them tired and not think about the relationship. Your partner or you will likely have to find another person (other couples) to chat with to help the relationship grow. Often it won’t be your gay friends because it’s awkward, unless you have super gay friends. You won’t be able to talk to your partner about all the problems as new problems will arise and you won’t have the answer to. Sometimes dating sites give the best tips to help your relationship grow. Communication is key.
4. I think both ‘needs’ in a relationship are equal. You must balance both needs. One can’t be happy and one can’t be sad. Both must be happy.
5. Sometimes too much honesty hurt a relationship. For instance, “You look a little chubby today” (you’re trying to lose weight). You have 5 grey hairs on your beard. You might want to say, you want to go to the gym with me today or I think you need to trim your beard a bit, keep it nice and trim handsome.
With all that said, every relationship is different. Don’t fix what’s not broken. If it’s working for you guys, keep it up. You guys are extremely cute and adorable together. I hope you guys are together forever!
Well said!!
